Crisis Actors

Crisis ActorCrisis Actors are not real people. They are a group of actors intent on exposing the corruption and lies of mainstream media. They are meta-conspiracists, investigative citizen journalists, and proud patriots, America’s sons. Their sludgy garage rock debut White Guilt, White Heat EP is a surge of righteous disgust, a tidal wave of guitar filth set to choke all hypocrites, corporate puppets and environmental rapists in their path.
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Discography

 

White Guilt, White Heat


December 2015

White Guilt, White Heat is the debut EP by shadowy collective Crisis Actors. Hidden Shoal received the encrypted digital files via a portal in the dark web, accompanied by the following text: “Crisis Actors are not real people. They are a group of actors – Steve Illuminati, Todd Reptilian and Cory Alien – intent on exposing the corruption and lies of mainstream media. They are meta-conspiracists, investigative citizen journalists, and proud patriots, America’s sons.” The digital files comprise five sludgy garage rock salvos, a surge of righteous disgust, a tidal wave of guitar filth set to choke all hypocrites, corporate puppets and environmental rapists in their path. Rumours abound that there may be some link between Crisis Actors and Hidden Shoal labelmates Brother Earth, but such links can be neither confirmed nor denied. Hidden Shoal maintains they are proudly complicit in disseminating these seeds of illumination.

Biography

Based in cities around the globe such as New York, London, Tokyo, Cleveland and Washington DC, Crisis Actors – Steve Illuminati, Todd Reptilian and Cory Alien – first met on 16th June 2015 at Trump Towers in NYC, when the future band members were hired by Donald Trump’s campaign team as paid stand-in supporters for his campaign announcement. Although members of the group have individually taken part in conspiracies all over America and beyond, the Trump campaign announcement was the nexus of their formation. “We thought, on that day, that we would all receive our gift cards for $35 and go home. But once Cory Alien and I started talking about our involvement in past events and our proclivity for music, and Todd Reptilian overheard us, we knew we had something special,” says Steve Illuminati, lead singer of Crisis Actors. “We realised there is a sub-conspiracy going on. At the event, there were paid actors playing paid actors playing real people, possibly hired by Hillary Clinton’s campaign, and the real Donald Trump himself was seen behind a curtain while what appeared to be a cyborg of some sort was making his announcement. Re-watch the YouTube videos. It’s all there. We were just able to see it at a better angle.”

It was then that Crisis Actors knew they had to expose these deeply entrenched conspiracies plaguing the corporate mainstream media. “When Rand Paul talks about anarcho-capitalism,” Cory Alien chimes in, “you may think he’s talking about individuals’ freedoms, or Koch corporate free-for-alls, but he’s actually planting the seed of a highly technological form of electronic libertarian mind control. Why do you think most smartphones are free when you sign up, but they charge you for security features without your consent?” Todd Reptilian, musical overlord of the band, chimes in, “What we see in America today, it’s all prophesied in the patterns of Ted Cruz’s hair. If you look at his head straight on, you can see the hair go forcefully upwards, then a quick swerve to the left on one side, and a massive swirl directly back on the right. Looking from the top of his head, the future is even scarier.”

Crisis Actors denounce mainstream media’s controlled narrative that fails to speak about the real issues facing America today. Crisis Actors also denounce the flood of big money in election campaigns, spent on subterranean bus systems to transport reptilian workers and caucus-goers above ground while the general public is oblivious, the scum of special interests trying to willfully confuse American citizens by subliminally injecting naked pictures of Bill O’Reilly in between segments on Fox News, those corporations getting the public to vote against their own interests by creating voting machines that can be controlled by psychokinesis, and the greasy-faced pundits who willfully perpetrate these lies and false narratives for the affection of their corporate overlords and their own economic gain to the peril of their fellow man, nations, and our Earth.

 

News

  • Eat Your Friends: A Hidden Shoal 10th Anniversary Compilation

    Eat Your FriendsHidden Shoal is excited to end the celebration of its 10th year of existence with the new compilation album Eat Your Friends, comprising remixes and covers of Hidden Shoal artists, by Hidden Shoal artists. This freely downloadable album not only showcases the wealth of original music released through Hidden Shoal, but also the creative ingenuity and deft musical touch of the remixers and cover artists.

    From searing solar-flared adaptations to delicately reconstructed covers, deep space jam reworkings, and shimmering ambient tapestries, Eat Your Friends reimagines the Hidden Shoal discography in new and beautiful ways, playing to all the strengths of the roster’s dizzying array of talent.

    Includes remixes and covers by: Antonymes, Arc Lab, Glanko, Wayne Harriss, Liminal Drifter, Makee, Chloe March, Markus Mehr, Erik Nilsson, REW<<, Slow Dancing Society, Tin Manzano, Willem Gator, and Zealous Chang  of music by: Arc Lab, Brother Earth, Cheekbone, City of Satellites, Medard Fischer, Gilded, Glanko & Daniel Bailey, Kryshe, Memorybell, Erik Nilsson, perth, Slow Dancing Society, Tangled Star, Umpire, and Zealous Chang.

    Eat Your Friends is available now as a free download via Bandcamp and is also streamable via SoundCloud. Listen and then throw yourself into the wormhole as you explore the originals and more work by the remixers and cover artists.  For all the filmmakers, games designers and others in need of engaging music, don’t forget that all tracks in our catalogue are available for licensing (film, tv, games, compilations etc).

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  • Hidden Shoal is 10!

    Hidden ShoalHidden Shoal is extremely excited to be celebrating its 10th birthday this month. It’s hard to believe that back in May 2006, Perth-based musicians Cam Merton, Stuart Medley and Malcolm Riddoch began Hidden Shoal Recordings as a means to put out releases by local artists. Tim Clarke, based in Melbourne, joined the team in 2007. Hidden Shoal has since gone on to become a much-loved independent label and publisher, releasing over 120 albums from a diverse range of international artists and licensing music from its catalogue across film, tv, web and compilation.

    Stay tuned for special anniversary announcements in the coming months!

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  • Crisis Actors Featured in Vice Magazine!

    Crisis Actors Live at GatewayFollowing on from their first live show at The Gateway in Brooklyn, Crisis Actors have just been featured and interviewed in Vice Magazine. Those who have heard their wonderful new debut EP, White Guilt, White Heat, should have an idea of what their in for but if you’re still falling short then the feature title should give you some context – “Meet the Band of Brooklyn ‘Anti-Conspiracy Theorists’ That Formed a Bernie Sanders PAC”.

    Read the article here, listen to White Guilt, White Heat here and watch the video for single ‘Welcome to Babylon’ here.

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  • Crisis Actors “White Guilt, White Heat” EP, New Music Video

    Crisis Actors - White Guilt, White Heat EPWe have a dirty little secret we’ve been keeping up until now. We’ve been given security clearance to finally to announce the release of White Guilt, White Heat, the debut EP of incendiary guitar filth from shadowy collective Crisis Actors, accompanied by the video for lead track ‘Welcome To Babylon’.

    Hidden Shoal received the encrypted digital files via a portal in the dark web, accompanied by the following text: “Crisis Actors are not real people. They are a group of actors – Steve Illuminati, Todd Reptilian and Cory Alien – intent on exposing the corruption and lies of mainstream media. They are meta-conspiracists, investigative citizen journalists, and proud patriots, America’s sons.” The digital files comprise five sludgy garage rock salvos, a surge of righteous disgust, a tidal wave of guitar filth set to choke all hypocrites, corporate puppets and environmental rapists in their path. Rumours abound that there may be some link between Crisis Actors and Hidden Shoal labelmates Brother Earth, but such links can be neither confirmed nor denied. Hidden Shoal maintains they are proudly complicit in disseminating these seeds of illumination.

    Read more about Crisis Actors here, grab yourself a copy of the EP here (pay what you want) here and check out the awesome music video for ‘Welcome To Babylon” here.

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    Artist Photos

     

    Music Videos

    Licensing

    Crisis Actors’ music is  available for licensing (master & sync cleared) through Hidden Shoal. Please contact us with some basic details about your project and the track(s) you wish to use and we’ll be sure to get back to you straight away.

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